I’ve often wondered this and about many things. But specifically I am referring to adults. That’s my main concern. At what age do you have to get your sh… uh, act together and stop acting like a dunce?

I don’t expect 18 year olds to act like fully grown adults. In most ways, they are not adults. While they have reached an age of maturity that is accepted by our government, most 18 year olds are not independent and rely quite heavily on their parents.

College students. Well, there are a lot of college students that make it on their own. They use loans, scholarships, grants, jobs, etc to pay for their books, housing, tuition, food, and whatever else. There are also a lot of college students that still expect their parents to do everything for them. Laundry, money, homework, what have you. I understand living at home. If you can manage it and your parents approve, why not save some money for later? But living at home just so you have someone to cook you dinner, do your laundry, make your bed, and save you money so you can go out partying every weekend, swear you won’t drink again, and then get wasted less than 24 hours later, is ridiculous.

I don’t think that every kid should go out and flip burgers or bag groceries as soon as s/he is able, but there does come a time when it’s appropriate to get a job and learn the glories of earning and spending money. That’s an important talk that parents should have with their children as well, long before the wonders of the birds and bees, mind you. I should have gotten a part time job before I did, at least a couple of years. Not only is it a good learning experience, but I’m quite social, and it gives you another outlet. Unless of course, you work somewhere where you hate everyone else or where they don’t speak English. I also wish my parents had taught me a thing or two about money, but honestly, I think when I was young, they didn’t really know that much about it either.

So, to bring me back to my point, when do we have to grow up? By what age do you think that it’s no longer acceptable to be living with mom & dad? Personally, I think 25 is the absolute latest. I mean, doesn’t it hurt your odds of getting laid? “We’ve got to be quiet, because my dad is a light sleeper…” is not exactly a turn-on.

I like to plan ahead. I feel better when I’ve mapped out a pretty clear stratagem. Obviously, I can’t account for all forces of nature and/or acts of God but at least if I am confronted with a nasty hail storm of fire, I can pull out my plan and watch as it turns to ash.

My point is that I love to be prepared but I keep it in mind that anything can change without so much as a moment’s notice. I do have obsessive compulsive personality disorder and that complicates things a bit considering I’m also a mother but I think it helps as well. I might not have known what to do with a newborn, but I knew how to make my house, car, and life ready for one. I don’t really have a motto, but if I did, it would be something like, “Prepare for what you can but be willing to adapt when necessary.”

I’m really pretty laid back. I have been described, on more than one occasion, as being a very passionate person. And I am. When something or someone strikes a chord with me, I am truly captivated. I will fight for what I believe in and I will admit when I realize that I’ve been holding onto something not because I understand it or agree with it but because it was comfortable. I can change, I can allow new forces into my life. I always thought that I was horrible with change. The funny thing is, you would think that after becoming a mother, I would try and beat it off with a baseball bat. But I welcome it with open arms now.

For so long I protected myself from the world because I had been hurt. I had felt so much pain that I decided I didn’t want to feel anything. Then, I got to a point where I was just a zombie–no relationships, no feelings, and a real, desperate desire to bite human flesh… I wanted to feel anything even if it was heartache and loves lost. Pain brought me back from my state of zomboid and pain is what makes me a better person. When I can feel my heart aching, I can feel it expanding.

How have I changed since motherhood? How haven’t I changed? My life began and ended at the same time. I grew up, I knew that I couldn’t put myself first anymore. I knew that everything was going to change. And the funny thing is that I have never been that great with change. Was I afraid? Of course, but my desire for a family outweighed my fears. I was relatively calm and serene while I was pregnant, the only thing that truly scared me was the idea of labor and delivery but I knew that one day, the baby was going to come out so I just had to deal with it.

I haven’t read a lot of parenting books. And the ones I have, I haven’t read from cover to cover. I haven’t had a lot of questions over the last couple of years about my baby’s eating or sleeping or pooping habits. When my daughter would get sick, I had questions, so I would call the doctor or my mother but I was never terribly worried. I’ve never felt the need to join a bunch of playgroups or Mommy and Me classes, I haven’t spent a bunch of time in Mommy blogrings or chatboards (do those still exist?).

I’m not saying that I’m a perfect mom or that I have all the answers but I have just never felt so unsure or uneasy that I needed a lot of help. Part of who I am is a loner, I have done and will continue to do most things on my own. Though I take my daughter with me now, I still see it as being alone because she is an extension of me. I think that I was waiting my whole life to have her. Don’t get me wrong, my life hasn’t always been about having babies and it still isn’t all about having babies. But my life was definitely incomplete before. And in many ways, it still is. I have yet to fill my life with all the things that I truly care about, but at least I have gotten started.

In many ways, I have felt alienated from other mothers. Either because of my age (I was 20 when my daughter was born, you should have seen some of the looks I’ve gotten) or because I chose to stay at home instead of going back to work. Being a mother means making a choice between something bad and something unpleasant. There are no black and white, right and wrong choices.

This is my story. I met my husband on May 28, 2005. We dated off and on all during that summer and come mid-August we were very much together and going back to college. We celebrated my birthday together (September 17th) and by mid-October I found out I was pregnant. We decided to move back to our homes (away from the University in Tempe), drop out of school and get full-time jobs. I was working by December and him by January. We moved in together mid-February, had our baby in June and were married by August. That’s it. I’ve known him 3 years and we’ve been married almost 2. I’m not particularly proud of this story (as it shows a lack of discretion) but I wouldn’t have it any other way. One change, and I probably wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter with me now.

What do you think about mistakes in your life that have led to wonderful outcomes?

Subject: Help solve high energy costs

Hi,

Al Gore took a big risk when he called on us to get 100% of our electricity from cheap, clean sources within 10 years.

I just signed a petition to support Al Gore’s ambitious challenge. Together, we’ll urge Obama, McCain, and Congress to get on board.

Can you join me? Just click here:

MoveOn.Org Gore Challenge

Thanks!

400 pennies. It seems like a lot, and it surely is if you actually do have 400 pennies lying around. Depending on where you go, it can buy you some pretty cool stuff. For instance, you could buy a couple items from a fast food dollar menu. You could buy an EP on iTunes or a number of books off of half.com. You could go to your local Starbucks and buy a tall Frappuccino for $3.74 (with tax, that’s what it costs at my store), but Frappuccinos are probably one of the most expensive drinks — though when you add syrup, breve, and 4 extra shots, it’s going to be expensive no matter what you order.

I am actually employed by Safeway, not Starbucks, so I don’t get free drinks or even a discount! Of course, being around coffee all day makes me want to have a drink of my own, but how do I choose a tasty drink without immediately handing over my paycheck?

First off, I never buy drip coffee. It’s just a waste, instead, buy yourself a home brewer and your own beans. Second, no Frappuccinos ever. Not only are they high on the price scale but high on the caloric intake scale as well. Side note, don’t kid yourself into ordering a Frappuccino Light. Most of the calories saved come from not getting the whipped cream. Thirdly, I stay away from the syrups. I don’t really enjoy my coffee when it’s really sweet, I prefer it with milk. That brings me to my last point, if you get a cold drink, you can add milk to your liking for free — we always have milk out with the sugar. Say for instance, I wanted an iced latte. I would order an iced Americano, whatever size in the next larger cup (i.e. the grande in a venti) and add the milk myself. That trick alone saves you over a dollar.

You’re probably thinking, “umm, doesn’t an Americano have water added to it?” If you order it hot, yes the espresso is combined with hot water. Now, as far as the iced version is concerned, there is some controversy. Some say the ice acts as the water, and others will still add cold water to the ice and espresso. As for me, only ice please.

So basically, while I am at work, I think up ways to order something cheap while still getting a deliciously refreshing drink. Actually, we have a promotion going on right now where if you come in the morning, we give you a special receipt that will give you a dollar off any cold beverage if you come back after 1 PM. So, instead of spending $10 a day, you’ll only spend $9. Isn’t that nifty? If you ask me, if Starbucks were to lower the price of their coffees and pastries just a small amount, people might come back in the same day.

I bet you thought I was going to talk about gas prices or groceries. Admittedly, I was going to. But I thought, what good is it to gripe about the high cost of food considering I am going to pay that amount no matter what I do. But see, coffee is a luxury. No one needs to get their caffeine jolt everyday, but they WANT it. And so do I, so why not find a way to buy my coffee and drink it too.

It’s been a month now since my little girl turned 2. She has a very sweet disposition and is prone to cuddling, hugs and kisses, and now that she’s got more than 5 words to her vocabulary, she can answer my “I love you” with an “I love you too, Momma!” So, I never thought much of those dreaded terrible twos. If only I had known.

There are so many things that are changing and developing with Gigi right now that I can hardly blame her for the occasional fusses and tantrums, but I think I am about to pull my hair out.

She has always been a very talented and faithful eater (she gets this from me, no doubt!) but recently she has started to get picky. Now, I wasn’t very worried about it because most child-rearing books will tell you that even a picky eater is getting enough to eat. But then, she started to play with the food she didn’t want to eat. At that, she succeeded in making an even larger mess than if she had attempted to eat it. The pickiness comes and goes, there is no certain food that she will or will not eat, but just depending on her mood or even the time of day, something she might ordinarily love she will throw on the floor. Cute, isn’t it?

Now, however, she doesn’t seem to be getting enough. Every time I turn around, she is rifling through our cabinets or trying to open the fridge. I woke up at 3:15 the other morning to the sound of her crying and when I went in to check on her she greeted me with an, “EAT! EAT!” I made pancakes at 3:30 AM while watching Harry Potter on DVD (which, by the way, she is completely obsessed with, and will watch with more rapt and attention than any animated Disney Film or dreaded Barbie Princess movie).

The latest installment of this oh-so-lovely stage is her strike on sleep. She has been refusing to nap and screaming till she’s blue in the face when we put her down at night. Nothing in our normal bedtime routine has changed lately, so I can only imagine that something is going on with her. My husband and I have decided that it’s time for not only a nightlight but perhaps a small radio or CD player so she can drift off to dreamland to the sleepy, soulful sounds of Brahms, Mozart, and other such nursery lullabies.

We are also trying to potty train right now, but with no enforced emphasis. My goal in that area is to have her completely out of diapers by age 3. I’m taking it slow so as not to scare her. I know I can’t remember when I was being toilet-trained but from what I have heard, it can be quite a traumatic and detrimental experience (but where does the poopy go?).

So, I have lost a bit of sleep lately (and perhaps my patience, on the rare occasion) but all-in-all, the terrible-ness has been quite tame. Hopefully, this isn’t just the tip of the iceberg and that I haven’t just jinxed myself!

As with all things, the good comes hand-in-hand with the not-so-good. Probably the cutest thing to come out of her growing independence is her newfound obsession with shoes and has been caught walking around the house in both our shoes!

I received this message when I logged into Xanga, it read,

“i would like to secretly adore you from afar.
If you like erotica then we have two things in common!
Rush”

So, thinking that instead of blocking, I would try my hand at the anti-spam. Here is my reply,

“Dear Rush, that is sweet. But you have already blown the secret!”

In honor of elusiivelove’s lolcats contest, I thought it time that I learned the art of the lolSpeak, since I can’t understand half of what the users on icanhascheezburger.com are saying.

It’s pretty simple, we start with an ordinary comment such as: “Look at the evil cat. He is trying to hypnotize us!”

Then, forget everything you ever learned about grammar. Everything. Misuse verbs, turn adjectives into nouns, pay no attention to syntax, forget about correct pronouns, and of course, use “younger” words (like kitty). So, the example sentence above turns into, “To be looking at the kitty that is very fulling with evilness. Him tries the fact that hypnosis is being done with us!”

After this, you simply misspell everything you can especially words that are spelled differently from how they sound (with the exception of small words). Do things like using vowels at every opportunity, replace ‘s’ with ‘z’, pluralize everything, and always replace ‘the’ with ‘teh’. Applying this rule we have, “We beez lukking at teh kitteh wif awl da evuhlnus. Him beez tryyng to put teh hep-no-ties on wif us.”

Almost done! Now is the time to add extra words and exclamations. Use abbreviations like lol, omg, rofl, idk, wtf (and other popular internet abbreviations) and then misspell them i.e. lawlz. Be sure to add extra descriptive words such as ‘like’ and ‘totally’. Now we have, “OMGZ!!!1 Lik wau! We beez lukking at dis kitteh wif awl dis evuhlnuss. WFT?!?!! Him beez lik tryyng 2 tewtuhly hep-no-ties wif us!!”

And if you really want to go for broke, you can add any addition information that you like. I imagine that it would go a little something like this,

“OMGZ!!!1 Lik wau! We beez lukking at dis kitteh wif awl dis evuhlnuss. WFT?!?!! Him beez lik tryyng to tewtuhly hep-no-ties wif us!! Don be evuhl lil kitti, Iz will be luvvng U. Com har nd I beez givn youz da bowage fer yer hedz tehn youz not be evuhls n e moar. kthxbai?!!!”

This summary made with the help of copyright ELFN 2007, all rights reserved. Log on to Speak Lolspeak! fer moar hlp.

moar funny pictures
because I work at Starbucks…

Right now the featured question is, “How do you feel about the adoption of children by same sex couples?” Most of the answers I read were in support of it, which shows that even though we have yet to be unified on the topic of same sex marriages, that we realize that homosexuality does not have anything to do with parenting. One of the pages though, had this to say about same sex adoption,

“the world is already so fucked up…….who gives a damn anymore. i’m against gay marriage and gays and all that but i’m like whatever about it…..don’t shove it in my face and leave me alone….but adopting kids??? that’s just sick! poor child is gonna grow up being teased and tormented for the rest of their life! (at least until they move out) poor sad little child.”

Of course, I don’t agree with that statement so I left a comment and went on my merry way. Well, this morning the user had left me a comment so I went back to their site and saw (to my horror) that they had reposted the question with a slightly different answer,

“i decided to answer this again because i’m bored and have read so many funny responses to this question. first off…..i am NOT a homophobic if i was i would be scared of gay people and could not even be around them. i am just simply AGAINST gay marriage and having 2 gays raise a child. i personally do not like the lifestyle of gays and i think it is somewhat repulsive……but i DO NOT blame them….i know it’s genetic i’m not a retard. as long as they’re not around me then fine…..but i don’t want 2 gays making out in front of me or anything (i don’t even like it when STRAIGHT people make out in front of me there’s rooms for that and private places) i think that it would kill the poor childs chances at having a normal life. poor kid…..he would get made fun of all through school. by being gay they know they will not have what we call…a normal life. so why should they get married and why should they be allowed to adopt a child? even if the USA passes laws for gay marriage in every state and lets gay couples adopt a child they still will not lead a normal life.
go ahead and start bitching at me because what i said was SO WRONG!!!! but if you have half a brain and take a few seconds to THINK then you will see that i am against the whole concept of gay marriage, and gay adoption, but not against gays personally.
go ahead and come up with a response.”

This attitude doesn’t so much as offend me but it hurts to know that there are so many discriminating people in this world. This user is very young and that suggests that it’s not just their beliefs, but their parents’ beliefs as well. I left this comment to the above post, tell me what you think.

“Yes, you have an opinion. But it is an ill-informed and uneducated opinion. You are also unreceptive to new ideas and by definition, that is what makes you close minded. You don’t know anyone who was brought up by gay parents and you obviously feel that because you don’t approve of gay marriage, that most other people not only don’t approve but find it disgusting and mockable. To give the argument that a child wouldn’t have a normal life is laughable. A child who gets passed around foster homes isn’t getting a normal life.

The thing that bothers me the most is that because I disagree with you, you think that I should just shut up and go away. If you’re allowed to voice your opinion (which, you surely are, in fact you are more than free to do so) than I am as well. I know that I won’t be able to help you understand and that’s in most part due to the fact that you immediately shut down when opposing information is introduced. I hope that you are headed off to college in the fall because not only is it a great experience, but you will be forced to stretch your horizons–an activity that they actually discourage in high school (which is such a shame).

I don’t know if you’re interested or not, but studies have yet to conclude that homosexuality is indeed genetic, as of yet, there is no “gay gene”. It’s not a criticism, just an observation. Also, you’re definition of homophobia is not complete, yes it does describe a fear of but also an aversion to and discrimination against homosexuals. So, yes, what you describe about being repulsed by gay people (“i personally do not like the lifestyle of gays and i think it is somewhat repulsive”) and that you would prefer them to not be around you (“as long as they’re not around me then fine”) is homophobia.”

And, did you know that the Xanga spell checker doesn’t recognize the words “gay” or “homosexual”? That’s weird.