July 10, 2008
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O Hai! U redi fer teh lolspeek?
In honor of elusiivelove’s lolcats contest, I thought it time that I learned the art of the lolSpeak, since I can’t understand half of what the users on icanhascheezburger.com are saying.
It’s pretty simple, we start with an ordinary comment such as: “Look at the evil cat. He is trying to hypnotize us!”
Then, forget everything you ever learned about grammar. Everything. Misuse verbs, turn adjectives into nouns, pay no attention to syntax, forget about correct pronouns, and of course, use “younger” words (like kitty). So, the example sentence above turns into, “To be looking at the kitty that is very fulling with evilness. Him tries the fact that hypnosis is being done with us!”
After this, you simply misspell everything you can especially words that are spelled differently from how they sound (with the exception of small words). Do things like using vowels at every opportunity, replace ‘s’ with ‘z’, pluralize everything, and always replace ‘the’ with ‘teh’. Applying this rule we have, “We beez lukking at teh kitteh wif awl da evuhlnus. Him beez tryyng to put teh hep-no-ties on wif us.”
Almost done! Now is the time to add extra words and exclamations. Use abbreviations like lol, omg, rofl, idk, wtf (and other popular internet abbreviations) and then misspell them i.e. lawlz. Be sure to add extra descriptive words such as ‘like’ and ‘totally’. Now we have, “OMGZ!!!1 Lik wau! We beez lukking at dis kitteh wif awl dis evuhlnuss. WFT?!?!! Him beez lik tryyng 2 tewtuhly hep-no-ties wif us!!”
And if you really want to go for broke, you can add any addition information that you like. I imagine that it would go a little something like this,
“OMGZ!!!1 Lik wau! We beez lukking at dis kitteh wif awl dis evuhlnuss. WFT?!?!! Him beez lik tryyng to tewtuhly hep-no-ties wif us!! Don be evuhl lil kitti, Iz will be luvvng U. Com har nd I beez givn youz da bowage fer yer hedz tehn youz not be evuhls n e moar. kthxbai?!!!”
This summary made with the help of copyright ELFN 2007, all rights reserved. Log on to Speak Lolspeak! fer moar hlp.
Comments (9)
lawl! zomg! teh props, i gives et. kittek liks dis post.
Uh huh, uh huh. So before I do this, where do I place my self respect?
@retired_at_21 - stash it in a safe place, along with your intelligence, but my guess is that if you do decide to go through with it, you won’t be needing those any longer
there are many words that the xanga spell checker won’t reconize, hell it doesn’t even reconize “xanga”.
as for lolspeak, i don’t like it but had to learn it so i could actually understand what the hell people were talking about in chat rooms, then they go & change it.
i say screw it, i’m just gonna go study Asian languages cause that is where the real power comes from most due to the numbers.
as for me typing correctly, probably not gonna happen here anyway[as in this site] lets just call it my latent rebellion…
take care & stay strong
poor kitties :-/
the funniest line in here I thought was: “To be looking at the kitty that is very fulling with evilness. Him tries the fact that hypnosis is being done with us!”
that made me lawlz
lulz lesleeee dun knao lulspeak?
tis eezee. j00 just talk lyke an ideut rly.
i spends t00 mush tyme in grupe on VF dedikatd to teh arte of lulspeak.
AND KITTEHS. cuz kittehs r teh cutenesz
@eadie - you know, I found a free-translator and I translated the English to Japanese and then back again.
@evil_moxie - and to think this was actually difficult for me!